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DOG'S DIARY
7 am - Oh
boy! A walk! My favourite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
Noon - Oh
boy! The yard! My favourite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
4
pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mum!
My favourite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome
home Dad!
My favourite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch!
My favourite!
11pm
- Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed!
My favourite!
CAT'S
DIARY
Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects.
They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced
to eat dry cereal.The only thing that keeps me going
is the hope of escape,
and the mild satisfaction that
I get from clawing their furniture.
Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.
Today
my attempt to kill my captors by weaving
around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded - must try this
at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced myself
to vomit on
their favourite chair. I must remember to try this on
their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought
them the headless
body in an attempt to make them aware of what I
am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their
hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about
what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, that did not
work according to plan ...
There
was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.
I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However,
I could hear
the noise and smell the food.
More important, I overheard that my confinement
was due to my powers of inducing "allergies"
I must
learn what this is and how I may use it to my
advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies
and
maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and
seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a
half-wit.
The
bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant and speaks with them regularly. I am
certain he reports my every
move. Due to his
current placement in the metal room, his safety
is assured. But I have patience, I can wait,
it
is only a matter of time ....
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