......or those contemplating it.
This was written by a mother from Austin, Texas:
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to
fill a 2000 sq.
ft. house inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and
run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3 - year old Boy's voice is louder than 200
adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan,
the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42
pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if
tied
to a paint can, to spread paint on all four
walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when
the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan
as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can
hit
a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane)
doesn't
stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the
words "uh oh", it's already
too late
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes
smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six - year old Boy can start a fire with a
flint rock even though
a 36-year old man
says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the
digestive tract of a 4 -
year old Boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not
be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell - O you put
in a swimming pool you still
can't walk
on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell - O.
15. VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches
even though TV commercials
show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good
parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise
when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know
what that odour is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn
it on. Plastic toys do
not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a
5 - minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine
does not make earthworms
dizzy
22. It will however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body
weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Men who read this will try
mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.
Those who pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without
boys do it because:
a. For those with no children -
this is totally hysterical
b. For those who already have children
past this age - this
is hilarious.
c. For those who have children
this age - this is not funny.
d. For those who have children nearing
this age - this is a
warning.
e. For those who have not yet had
children - this is birth control
BACK TO INDEX
