One day my housework challenged husband decided
to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped
into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say
on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest
woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today,"
Jack says as he  stepped out of the shower,
"honey, what do you think the neighbors would
think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money,"
she replied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea ... you stand by the
ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: What do you call an intelligent,
good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumour

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were
celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.
On their special day a good fairy came to them
and said that because they had been so good
that each one of them could have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world
with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise
tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30
years younger. Whoosh! Immediately he turned
ninety!!!

Gotta love that fairy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A PRAYER....

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.

AMEN

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed
gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their
males after mating?

A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting
on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end they
need to wipe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: What is the difference between
men and women?

A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her
every need. A man wants every woman to
satisfy his one need.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: How do you keep your husband from
reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~




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