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A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties)
very well dressed, hair well groomed,
great looking suit, flower in
his lapel
smelling slightly of a good after shave,
presenting a well looked-after image,
walks into an upscale cocktail
lounge.
Seated at the bar is an elderly looking
lady, (mid eighties).
The gentleman walks over, sits alongside
of her, orders a drink, takes
a sip,
turns to her and says, "So tell me,
do I come here often?"
An elderly gentleman had serious
hearing problems for a number
of
years. He went to the doctor
and the doctor was able to have
him fitted for a set of hearing
aids that allowed the
gentleman
to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back
in
a month to the doctor and the
doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect.
Your family must be really pleased
that
you can hear again."
The gentleman replied,
"Oh, I haven't
told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the
conversations. I've changed
my will three times!"
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement
centre were sitting on
a bench under a tree
when one turns to the other and says:
"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just
full of aches
and pains. I know you're about
my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a new-born baby."
"Really!?
Like a new-born baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think
I just
wet my pants.
An elderly couple had dinner at another
couple's house, and after
eating, the
wives left the table and went into the
kitchen. The two gentlemen were
talking, and one said, "Last night
we
went out to a new restaurant and it
was really great. I would recommend
it very highly.
The other man said,
"What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought
and finally said, "What is the name
of that flower
you give to someone
you love? You know... the one that's
red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man.
He then turned towards the kitchen
and yelled, "Rose, what's
the name
of that restaurant we went
to last night?
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for
patients being discharged. However,
while
working as a student nurse, I found one
elderly gentleman already dressed and
sitting on the bed with a suitcase
at his
feet, who insisted he didn't need my
help to leave the hospital. After a chat
about rules being rules, he
reluctantly let
me wheel him to the elevator. On the way
down I asked him if his wife was meeting
him. "I don't know,"
he said. "She's still
upstairs in the bathroom changing out of
her hospital gown."
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