Here are some signs and notices written in English
that were discovered throughout the world.

In a Tokyo hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.
If you are not a person to do such a thing
please do not read this notice.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day.
During the time we regret that you will be
unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards,
and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing
floor. If the cabin should enter more persons,
each one should press a number of wishing floor.
Driving is then going alphabetically
by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 9 and AM daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is
the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage
of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a
Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where
famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists,
and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the
hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet
soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of
a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers
beaten up in the country people's fashion.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is a big
rush we will execute customers in
strict rotation.

Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts
by 5,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors.
These were executed over the past two years.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping
site that people of different sex, for instance,
men and women, live together in one tent
unless they are married with each
other for the purpose.



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