Dear Tech Support

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Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to
Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program
began unexpected child processing that took
up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into
all other programs and now monitors all
other system activity. Applications such as
Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0,
Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and
Racing 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the
background while attempting to run
my favorite applications. I'm thinking
about going back to Girlfriend 7.0,
but the uninstall doesn't work
on Wife 1.0.

Please help!
Thanks,

A Troubled User.

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REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men
complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to
Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and
Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed
by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0
and to return to Girlfriend 7.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge
the program files from the system
once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0
because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this.

Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
Warnings - Alimony - Child Support.

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0
and work on improving the situation.

I suggest installing the background
application "Yes Dear" to alleviate
software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter
the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
ultimately you will have to give the
APOLOGIZE command before the
system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program,
but it tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support
programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0,
Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use
these programs. Improper use will cause
the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5.
Once this happens, the only way to improve
the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
additional software. I recommend
Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!!
DO NOT, under any circumstances,
install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.
This application is not supported
by Wife 1.0 and will
cause irreversible damage to
the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support

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Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0
to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new
program began unexpected changes to the
accounting modules, limiting access to flower
and jewelry applications that had operated
flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many
other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9
installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0
and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs
and Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these